You know when you make a pop culture sort-of-reference like ‘he was a ghost all along’, then you have to explain it to someone who doesn’t really get it, then the conversation leads to the Sixth sense, you explain the twist in the end and the person you are talking to is like ‘ Oh, no you spoiled it! I haven’t seen it yet’. Naturally you answer ‘ well, it’s been 15 years, what the hell were you waiting for?’ but after you’ve had this conversation one too many times you start thinking that this has to be put to an end. People need to be educated.
After not giving it much thought at all I arrived to a suggestion, one that will make the world a better place by limiting pointless interactions such as the one described above. Here is how it works: whenever you meet someone who hasn’t seen a very well known, old enough film that contains a twist that everyone (else) knows about and they ask you what it’s about, here is how you answer:
The Sixth Sense: A kid who can see dead people develops a friendship with the ghost of a psychologist
The Village: Amish people living within a natural reserve dress up as monsters. They also don’t know they are Amish. No more Shyamalan, I promise.
Memento: A man who murdered his wife and has forgotten all about it is looking for someone to blame
American Psycho: A douchebag fantasizes about killing random people all throughout the film. He also has a business card fetish.
The Others: The daily life of a family of ghosts is disturbed when new tenants move into their house
Fight Club: A guy suffering from MPD starts an underground fight club because he disapproves of modern consumerist society. It’s also a book.
Psycho: Another guy suffering from MPD as a result of murdering his mother assumes her identity and kills people in the family-owned motel.
Oldboy: Woo-Jin orchestrates a revenge plan that spans over 15 years in order to get back at Oh Dae-Su for causing his sister’s death after spreading rumors of their incestuous relationship and ….this is too hard, I give up.
The Holy Mountain: It’s all a movie, except it isn’t really. Seriously, the only thing to say to someone who is planning to watch The Holy Mountain is ‘ good luck’