I kind of enjoy getting lost- sometimes I even pursue it. My friend does not share my feelings on the matter but the thing is, she also has a talent for getting lost; our lack of coordination skills is a thing that unites us. Anyway, here’s some advice on how to get lost in the valleys near Goreme:
1. Pick up the free hostel map. You will totally be able to figure out the right direction by following the green line perfectly rendered in MS Paint.
2. Enter from the wrong spot
3. Follow random people who are equally lost without even bothering to ask if they know where they are going. You can also let more people follow you, so they can share your experience.
4. Get off the beaten track. Jump wire fences.
5. Follow the random signs on the stones that read ‘Rose’. Later find out from a cafe owner that they have been placed there by another cafe owner to lead stupid tourists to his shop.
6. Keep walking, you’re on the right track. Never stop to reconsider.
7. Follow the random dog that appears. As your friend pointed out, only revelations come to those lost in desert areas and it’s clear that the dog is a sign from god.
8. Actually following the dog turned out to be a good idea
9. Walk for something like 5 hours before joining a French guided tour who will kindly allow you to walk with them until you are no longer lost.
10. Congratulations, you are in a different village and need a bus ride back. Ticket sounds like the French word ‘billet’ as far as I remember.
After my return from Turkey I went training (Krav Maga) and one of the instructors asked me what the hell happened to me. ‘I’m tanned’ I said. ‘ You’re burnt’, he countered.
‘ I was lost in a valley for five hours. What should I have done?’
‘ You should have turned around, to cook the other side as well’
Apparently I am the only person who laughs at this joke.