Signs that you are getting to old to attend metal gigs

  • Your back hurts and you need to sit down after the first two songs
  • You are not wearing black and your hair is tied up neatly. You look like your boyfriend dragged you in and you can’t wait to escape.
  • You are self-conscious about your headbanging; is it too much? is it  too little?do you look like your dad dancing to System of a Down?
  • You drink one beer and leave because you have to work the next day
  • You don’t grab your friend’s shoulders and shake them yelling ‘ MOSH PIT!’. In fact you consider a mosh-pit of 12 people to be a ridiculous idea.
  • You don’t even bother trying to get in front of the stage even though there’s no crowd preventing you from doing so
  • After a while you give up headbanging altogether and start tapping your foot on the floor. Now you definitely look like your dad.
  • The ringing in your ears does not go away for a while after the show. On top of that you’ve got a bonus headache that prevents you from falling asleep
  • You know you’re still gonna go to the next one, and you’re definitely gonna whine about it afterwards

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